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Hi,
I lost my baby boy James on the 7th of October 2009, he was born too soon at 15+5 weeks, he was so tiny but perfect in everyway, his Daddy and granny were there when he was born, he didnt even make it through Labour. We buried our baby boy last week, this was the hardest day of my life, I am completely devestated at losing James, the pain is almost unbearable. My Partner and I tried for 2 years for a child before we were blessed with James and then he was cruely taken from us, we loved our boy so much and are broken. I am 38 years old and he was my 1st baby, although I did have 2 very early misscarriages years ago, the experience of going through labour and giving birth to my son has made this situation so differant and so much harder to deal with. My partner and I are going to try agaain as soon as possible because of my age and how long it took us to have James I feel we dont have the luxury of waiting. I feel comfort from talking about james and what im going through, I hope I can offer some comfot to another Angel Mummy and also get some comfort from this.
Thanks
Jamesmummy x
Please click here to send us your message to forward on to James's Mummy typing, or copy & pasting "For James's Mummy PP01" in the subject line x
Hi,my 15 year old daughter gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on 2nd Sept 09 but after one day needed to go to manchester hospital in the uk for an opperation for a hole which she had in her bowel. we all thought that baby Freya_May would be ok but after her opperation she became very ill and sadly died on 6th Sept 09 I didnt know what to do and still dont I watched my daughter carry her babies coffin down the isle of the church My heart was breacking as she is still only a child herself. My grandaughter was cremated and my daughter now carries her ashes in a memorial bear which she takes every where with her she dresses her and does just about everything she would of done if her baby had survived. I just wish she could have survived.
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I lost my little girl Chloe on the 29th July 2009. She had a severe spina bifida and hydrocephalus. After finding out this at the 20 week scan we went for many tests travelling the UK trying to find answers. Unfortunatly no one could help us and at just under 25 weeks we decided to terminate the pregnancy. It was the hardest decision of our lives. She was born at exactly 25 weeks gestation. She was buried on the 11th August 2009 and would have been due on 11th November 2009. I have many new angel mummy friends on facebook but there are so many it's hard to keep up with everyone of them. Therefore I'd like to find a friend who has been through something similar and to chat to on a regualr basis. M xoxox
Please click here to send us your message to forward on to Chloe's Mummy by typing, or copy & pasting "For Chloe's Mummy PP03" in the subject line x
Hi I lost my little boy Peter at 16wks in october 1996 when i was 23,and it still feels like only yesterday.
I already had 3 children which for me was a good job has i could never even think about having another baby,it was so hard having to give birth knowing i would never be able to bring him home to stay.
I am now 36 and my feeling have never changed.I found it really hard to cope with for years, still breaks my heart every time we visit him in the church yard.
I take the day off work every year cos i get that upset on his "birth-day"
The night before we buried him i had him home to stay and i carried him into church and his daddy put him into the ground,think its the hardest job we have ever had to do.
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Hello there, my name is claire and i am 21 years old. I lost my baby at 19 weeks.
After having the usual blood tests every so often throughout your pregancy, we found out out baby boy's bladder and boul was growing on the outside of his body. His boul problem would have just been a quick and simple operation when he was born, but his bladder on the other hand, would have caused him several problems from birth, including having to wear nappies for years. My partner and I both decided that it wouldn't be fair to put him through all the pain and bullying he would get from school, so we deceided to terminate him. It was the hardest decision we have ever had to make!! After giving birth to him, the nurse brought him into the room and he was absolutly gorgeous. He was soo small but perfect. At the cremation, my partner Michael carried his tiny little casket down the isle. I was soo proud of him for doing it.
He was born on 21st March 2009, 1 day before mothers day. We called him Tyler Michael. It has been monthes since losing him but i think about him all day every day. The pain is unbarable and i am dreading 21st March next year. I don't have any other children unfortunatly but when we feel the time is right we will try again but nothing can replace our gorgeous little baby Tyler Michael xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Please click here to send us your message to forward on to Tyler's Mummy by typing, or copy & pasting "For Tyler's Mummy PP05" in the subject line x
Hi I lost my darling daughter Lily at 34 weeks on the 28th May 2009, she weighed 4.5lbs. Everything was going well with our pregnancy and me and her daddy where getting her room prepared and were so looking forward to her arrival. Lily is our first baby, I am 33 years old and was so ready to be a mum. And then on the Sunday I hadnt felt her move so went rushing to the hospital and was told the devastating news that there was no heart beat. I couldnt believe it I wanted them to tell me they were wrong. After Lily was born we spent the night holding her, she was perfect in every way and she had my hands and nose and her daddys ears. I felt so empty when we left the hospital without our little one. We havent touched her room, everything is how it was,ready for her, it is very difficult to go in there, it will always be Lilys room.
We are trying agin to fall pregnant as we feel we need to have a brother or sister for Lily and we are so desperate to be parents, however we are so scared.
I would love to hear from anyone that can relate to our story and hopefully be a support in return.
With love to all those Angel Mummys
from Claire.
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Hi, my name is jaime, 30yrs old and very recently married.
We lost our daughter, Amber, on the 3rd Oct at 21wks gestation. Amber was diagnosed with severe heart defects at our 20wks scan, which happened to be the Monday after the Friday we got married. We decided to interrupt the pregnancy as the outlook wasn't good for our daughter - this was the hardest decision i have ever made, and not one i would want to repeat. Although its what we chose to do, it hurts no less and we miss her everyday.
We have a daughter who will be 2yrs old in Dec, and we never thought that we would have a problem during pregnancy as our first went perfectly.
We are able to try again, and we will do, but not just yet - we need to get over the loss of Amber before we can move on.
Its been a roller coaster of a journey - and i'm still in the early stages of the grieving process, and cry everyday without fail x
Please click here to send us your message to forward on to Amber's Mummy by typing, or copy & pasting "For Amber's Mummy PP07" in the subject line x
Hi My name is Gretta and I am 26. We lost our angel Logan on 2nd August 2009, he was 8 days old. After a problem free pregnancy Logan was born on 25th July at 39+5 weeks, he stopped breathing about 2 hours after he was born, he was resucitaed but was without oxygen for too long and after several tests we decided to switch his ventilator off.
Logan was our first baby, and although we will always miss him we are planning to try again soon.
Please click here to send us your message to forward on to Logan's Mummy by typing, or copy & pasting "For Logan's Mummy PP08" in the subject line x
On the 26th of October 2009, i misscaried my twins Adam and Lindsay. I was 17 and half weeks.
The day before my miscarriage i went to my doctor as i felt something was wrong he told me that everything was fine that i was just anxious as this was my first pregnacy. The next day i misscarried them both. Their father ended our relationship when i was 3 weeks pregnant because he decided he wanted to be with someone eles so i had to go through my pregancy alone which i didn't mind. I told their father but it just seem's like it didn't bother him and that he has forgot about them. But i can't and wont. They where everything i had ever wanted and i love them so, so much. Words can't explain what they mean to me.
I would like to talk to anyone who has ever miscarried and understands the pain and agony of losing a baby. Hopfuly by sharing may be able to help some of the pain.
Please click here to send us your message to forward on to Adam & Lindsay's Mummy by typing, or copy & pasting "For Adam & Lindsay's Mummy PP09" in the subject line x
Hi, im sue im 35 years old and on 12th feb 09 when i was 21 weeks pregnant my waters broke and i went into premature labour, my daughter Ella Rose was born sleeping, she weighed 14oz and was perfect. I had been bleeding from 14weeks and her dad left me when i was 7 weeks pregnant (Ella was planned) for someone else (we had suffered two previous miscarriages in the early stages).
I miss Ella Rose every day. I already have two children from a previous relationship but this doesnt make the pain any easier. It gives me comfort that i have memories of Ella and her grave to visit. I am single now and i dont have the option to try again for another child, sometimes i get lonely and would love someone to chat to who has been through a similar thing xx
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Hi, my names Tamsin and im 19 yeas of age. i lost my beautiful daughter Hartley Romany when she was 2 months old to SIDS ( sudden infant death syndrome) in February of this year. im not quite sure what made me reach out to others really,i would just like to know others who have gone through the same pain so i can know im not alone.its hard to talk to friends and family who have no idea what im feeling. thanks
Hartley Romany's mummy xx
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Hi im Helen, myself and husband Steve lost our beautiful daughter Grace on 24th May 2009, she was born sleeping at 39+3 weeks.
The last 6 months have been a rollercoaster ride, but with some amazing family and friends, we are managing to smile again. Grace was our first child, and were hoping she will help us to conceive her brother or sister soon. Please click here to send us your message to forward on to Grace's Mummy by typing, or copy & pasting "For Grace's Mummy PP12" in the subject line x
It is coming up 2 years since I lost my daughter Skye Milly, I had to terminate my pregnancy at 19 and half weeks as I have a abnormality and my daughter was going to die if I didn't terminate when I did but the worst thing ever is that I had to terminate my pregnancy on the 22nd December 3 days before christmas so this time of the year if never good for me.
I went through a full pregnancy and took no pain relief at all as I wanted to fell everything for the last time.
After I had my daugher I was told that the same thing would happen again and that is why I going down the adoption route not to replace my darling baby daughter Skye but I need a child in my life as I am so desperate to be a mother. Please click here to send us your message to forward on to Skye's Mummy by typing, or copy & pasting "For Skye's Mummy PP13" in the subject line x
Hi my name is marie tharp i am 24 i gave birth to my first baby a beautiful baby boy on 29th of january 2009 at 40wks + 10 days gestation he was stillborn he died in my labour due to lack of oxygen because his placenta was too small as he was 9lbs 7oz the hospital never picked up on the 5 scans i had in the duration of my pregnancy and they tried to say they never knew he would be as big as he was he was very healthy his post mortum confirmed he was very healthy its likely if they had not let me go overdue he would have been fine i tried to be angry and blame them but it wont bring my darling back. it has been a very hard 2 years for my family as we lost another baby my nephew kyle on 18th january 2008 both my nephew and son are right next to each other at there beautiful resting place it gives some peace knowing they are together. we are trying again but am very scared my fiancee and i are getting married in april and i am starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel the hardest part for me is knowing it could have been prevented and the hospital would not accept that their malpractice caused me to lose the most precious baby who cant be replaced but he does live on in my memory i am using every ounce of me to be strong to not forget but to remember him amd be happy in my life with him watching down on me and i hope to make him proud as proud as i am to call him my son i tell everyone about him i would never regret having him even though i do not want to feel the pain of losing him.
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Hi, I had my third child on september 11th 2009. A very much longed for son after having two daughters already aged 9 & 10yrs. Baby Finlay was born at 25wks+5days, and he weighed just 1pound.
My first daughter Bethany was born at 28weeks and weighed just 1LB 13OZ, and she is now a healthy 10yr old. Rhian was born at 33weeks and weighed 3LB 11OZ and is now a 9yr old chatterbox. So when Finn was born due to severe IUGR I guess I was filled with so much positivity due to my daughters making it through scbu life. Finn was doing so well right up until he was 6days old. Then he contracted a skin infection, then a gut infection and then septicemia, then he became jaundice. His blood pressure was so low that he was on 4 different types of medicine to bring it up, his kidney failed which then meant he was unable to release any fluids. He was having to have morphine, two types of antibiotics, the blood pressure medicine, and fluids. he was having blood transfusions every day, plasma and platelets were being replaced each day and we never left his side at all throughout all of this. On the 19th sept we were told that Finn was dying and we should take him out for a cuddle and turn everything off.... our world crashed, and my heart was ripped from me in a second. Finns pulse was too low and they couldn't bring it up. So we made the hardest decision of our lives and agreed to do what they were telling us to do. The nurse went off to get a blanket for us, she was delayed by another parent though. In that delay Finns pulse came straight back up... The doctors were baffled and I lost all faith in what they were telling us from that moment on. On the 20th sept, Finn opened his left eye and had a peek at us, we cried our hearts out when he did this. Then... on the 21st september we really did have to cuddle our gorgeous boy and let him fall to sleep. We were told that there was nothing more the doctors could do, he wasn't responding to the medicines, and he was having more and more seizures. Our little lad really didn't look well either, and I guess we were in a way being selfish in trying to keep him with us. We cuddled him, and told him how much we loved him, and then after a while we took oout his ventilator. The rest of that day is a complete blur. The next day I carried my baby home in our car (the journey took an hour and a half) so that we could bring him home and lay him in his crib just once. We spent a few hours with him at home before the funeral directors came to take him from us. The funeral we held for Finn is a complete blur, but we have photos to look at when we feel strong enough.
People have said to me so many times that the pain gets easier in time, and I should be thankful I had 10 days with him.... I didn't just have 10days with Finn, I had over 27weeks with him. My pain certainly doesn't get easier and I can't see that it ever will. I miss my boy so much, and nothing will compensate for him not being with me.
A very broken Mummy
x
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My name is Lisa (31).
My husband and I have been married for 9 years.
We have two living daughters, and we have three children in heaven. I am a college lecturer, but I am still on maternity leave.
We lost our daughter Olivia to late miscarriage in 2006.
We lost our daughter Phoebe Mae at one week old in August 2008.
We lost our son Joseph at one day old in July 2009.
I have been very depressed since we buried Joe. I am not able to carry another baby.
Please click here to send us your message to forward on to Olivia, Phoebe and Joseph's Mummy by typing, or copy & pasting "For Lisa PP16" in the subject line x
Hi
I lost my baby boy Aiden to a placental abruption at 34 weeks and 3 days on 9th September 2009.I had started to bleed while in bed so my husband rang an ambulance.When we arrived at the hospital I was strapped to a heart monitor and the midwives assured me my baby was fine.I was then given a scan and that is when the doctor said they had to get my baby out.I was put to sleep and when I came round I knew straight away my baby had died has my husband and the midwife were both crying.I was kept in hospital for 3 days where I got to spend a lot of time with Aiden who was 41b 4oz and perfect.I already have a 22 month old son called Ethan who is gorgeous and mischevious.I am 38 years old and not sure yet whether to try and get pregnant again I know time isn't on my side but I don't know if I can handle the uncertainty another pregnancy would bring.
Please click here to send us your message to forward on to Aiden's Mummy by typing, or copy & pasting "For Aiden's Mummy PP17" in the subject line x
I lost my daughter Nevaeh on the 27th oct.Its the hardest thing i will ever go through.loosing my baby feels like my hearts been riped out.I just thought it mite help me to talk to other mums who as lost there angels like me.xx Please click here to send us your message to forward on to Nevaeh's Mummy by typing, or copy & pasting "For Nevaeh's Mummy PP18" in the subject line x
I'm Lucie, 22 and from Kidderminster. In a relationship, however my partner has moved away to return to study at University so feeling pretty isolated. I have a little girl, soon to be 3, but since have lost three 6 weeks, 5 weeks and 8weeks respectively. (October '08, Jan '09, Oct '09) I would like to try again but not sure if it's possible, and also quite scared to at present. Maybe in a few years time after treatment/investigations and such like...
Would like to be able to talk to somebody as I dont really have anyone around, I also much prefer being able to talk about this with people who have experience of it. Also I'd like to think I'd make a good listener too! So if anyone would like a natter or even a good cry, I'd like to hear from them :)
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Hi I'm Amanda I live in wirral my daughter sophia hope was born on 12th May and went with the angles on 17th may. she was born very early at 24+3 days. My cervix open at 21wks and than my water went at 22wks .But hang on till
I had no choice that they but in to Labour . She was our first child but it was mine second pg I had a miscarage before I had sophia.
What make me laugh the same day I went to mine midwife as I been bleding all day off on and she told me every was ok.
sophia is in the church yard that we got Married in and she is with my nan but every still hard for me. I go down twice a week to church to spend time with her We our trying again so I hope next year will be our year.
I have many new angel mummy friends on facebook and on ospb which I have not been on for long time I feel like I can't go back on as it been long time since I talk to every one.
but I'd like to find a friend who has been through something similar and to chat to on a regualr basis.
Amanda xx
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I lost my precious little boy on 17th September 2009 after years of waiting to become a mum. My partner left when I became pregnant saying he didn't want to be a dad. However I was so excited about becoming a mummy. I had a straightforward pregnancy and went into labour in the early hours of 17th September at 40wks and 4 days. I was finally going to meet my baby. However my beautiful little boy passed away literally minutes before birth during delivery. The medical staff attempted for half an hour to bring him back to me but there was nothing they could do. It is suspected that he had some undetected genetic condition but all tests came back clear and as I'm adopted know little about my own genetic history. Joshua only weighed 4lb 2oz but this was not picked up on during any of my ante-natal checks because all of his measurements were as they should have been so it was not noticed that he had stopped putting on weight. I had queried at times during the latter part of my pregnancy that I wasn't very big but I just got told that everyone carries differently.
I now feel lost and empty and so alone. Although my friends and family have been great they don't really understand and I'm also single now. I'm 38 and it took me years to conceive Joshua and I'm scared that time is running out for me to be able to give him a brother or sister in the future.
I'd like to be able to talk to any other parent(s) who too have gone through such a devastating loss that we may be able to support each other Thank you
Veronica Russell
Please click here to send us your message to forward on to Joshua's Mummy by typing, or copy & pasting "For Joshua's Mummy PP21" in the subject line x
My names Amy I'm 20 and from the Wirral, I lost my baby girl on the 2nd November 2009, I unexpectedly went into labour at 3am, and gave birth to my beautiful angel Elsie she had died 2days before in my womb, everyday I ask myself How did I not know? On the 11th November I did the hardest thing anyone could ever do, too bury my child. Day by Day I get up thinking when will it get easy and everyday does get a little bit easier, and I'm ready to speak about what has happened and share my grief as well as support over people which this has happened too. Amy
x
Please click here to send us your message to forward on to Elsie's Mummy by typing, or copy & pasting "For Elsie's Mummy PP22" in the subject line x
Hi my Name's Gemma I'm 21,
I am a mother to 2 babies, one on earth and one in heaven.
Kian my stillborn was born first on 10th March 2008 I was 32 weeks pregnant, its taken me a while to not come to terms with it but to talk about it and discuss my feeling which is why Im here now to get the support off people who have been through similiar experiences to my own, as I've felt so alone with these feelings for so long its hard to express.
Lauren my 2nd was concieved exactly 4 weeks after Kian's death, I knew straight away and was in shock, I cudnt attach myself at all to this baby inside me, I missed my little boy so much and I just wanted him back, it wasnt untill I was induced and she was actually born before I realised that she was my living daughter and I needed to be strong for her.
I felt in a dark place for such a long time and people said it wud heal, its been 2 years this year and I dont feel healed at all, and Lauren hasnt made it easier either, shes my daughter, a different child she's not my firstborn son who I'll never know and thats what will always get me.
I go visit him grave and I feel so much heartache it physically hurts.
I just hope here someone will understand
I am married now, I got married in October last year, Lauren's just turned 1 and she's brilliant and we're moving house next thursday, so its busy :)
I hope this is a gud place to come.
xxxxxx Please click here to send us your message to forward on to Kian's Mummy by typing, or copy & pasting "For Kian's Mummy PP23" in the subject line x
hi, i am mummy to 2 angel babies, my first was lost 5/10/00 after ivf treatment, at approx 7 weeks, my last angel was lost 22/04/06 at almost 14 weeks, this baby we named ashlee.
although i can still have my own children, we have decided to go down the route of adoption in order to complete our family. Although we may decide to try again for our own baby, just not yet.
i live in york, north yorkshire and i am nearly 36, i live with my husband and our 3 cats. Please
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I gave birth to my beautiful little baby girl, Darcie Rose on 27th October 2009. I lost her at 38 weeks.
I am thankful that I have another beautful little girl who will be 3 in March 2010.
My partner and I are hoping to try for another little one as soon as possible - he works away alot so this can prove to be difficult..!!
We live in Lowestoft, Suffolk and I'm finding it hard to locate any support groups in my area. I'm lucky to have alot of very good friends and my family to talk to but I would really appreciate speaking to someone who can relate to how I'm feeling. Please click here to send us your message to forward on to Darcie Rose's Mummy by typing, or copy & pasting "For
Darcie Rose's
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Hi, I am Katy 26 years old from Doncaster, South Yorkshire.
On 22nd June 2009 I gave birth to my son Cole James. I was only 23 weeks pregnant and was in labour for a day before i actually realised i was in labour. After 4 days of being in labour my little boy was born NVD weighing 1 pound 4 ounce. The doctors told me that the first few hours would be crucial and to take each hour as it comes. It was at that point I somewhat had to prepare myself for the worst. After 4 hours I was finaly able to go and see my little boy - who was on a ventilator on low pressures and needed no oxygen. I personally thought that this was a good thing. After 2 days he started to require small amounts of oxygen. The first week he seemed to be getting stronger, and responded to his treatment well. From 10 days thats when things started to go downhill so to speak. Cole suffered from blood poisioning, kidney failure, lung collapse after lung collapse, brian bleeds, no access for canulars so access via his head was taken. Aged 5 weeks and 1 day both Cole's lungs collapsed and it took over 20 minutes to resuscitate him. It was at this point I realised that I could no longer put him through everything and the doctors decided it would be best to turn his ventilator off. It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make and making that decision on my own was the worst. I rang my family and we all had cuddles. I was on my own with my mum when we turned Cole's ventilator off. He fell asleep a few hours later in my arms. I got to give him a bath and cuddle him like a mummy should do. I have no other children Cole is my only child. I never thought that after 5 weeks and 2 days of fighting I would be having to say goodnight and god bless to my little man.
I have found it easier for myself to talk through things with people who have been through similar situations. x
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hi,my name is leanne.im 36.and mum to 5(yes 5)lovely children.ive two angel babes.millie-rose who was born sleeping on the 3rd aug o4.and sonny who was a late miscarriage at 19 weeks.sonny was born on 22nd oct 05.my house is very loud and very mad.but there are and will always be two missing.we are very open about our special babies.and im very proud of my angels.theres alot more to my story,far to much to put on here.but i hope that if any one out there feels they want to talk or type.im all ears.the highs,the very lows ive dealt with and continue to deal with them all.im lucky to be in a place where i can smile again.i never thought i would be.but im here.xxxxxx Please
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Hi, up until 3months ago i was expecting identical twin girls, everything in my pregnancy was going really well until i had a scan at 26weeks (10th december 09) and was told that one of my babies had lost her heartbeat, needless to say i was devastated..,two weeks later i went in to labour on Christmas day and had to deliver both beautiful babies...My surviving baby i have named Niamh Marie and my beautiful baby girl that has left my life is Seren Rose, it was the hardest thing iv had to do burying my little angel but i am lucky enough to have a daily reminder of her in her twin sister... Please click here to send us your message to forward on to Seren Rose's Mummy by typing, or copy & pasting "Seren Rose's Mummy PP28" in the subject line x.
I lost my little baby boy.in 2008 it was soul destroying.one day his heart was beating when i was at the midwife. the day after it wasnt.it was near christmas as well .the hospital sorted my sons funeral out for me i wasnt in the state to sort the funneral out myself.as weeks when on i got worse couldnt consentrate eat much .i try to keep going fror my kids sake but its hard everytime i see a newborn i get so upset i dont no what to do with myself.
Please click here to send us your message to forward on to Lewis's Mummy by typing, or copy & pasting "Lewis's Mummy PP29" in the subject line x.
CAITLYNE ANGEL LOVELL
Was born 12th november 2009 at 29 +3 days gestation , I had oligohydramnios (rare app not enough amniotic fluid around her ) found out at my scan at 21 weeks and they sent us away to think about termination as they said her lungs wouldnt form without the fluid. So we went home did lots of research found lots of stories with miracle babies that survived and we asked if she had any abnormalaties which she didnt so we felt we had to give her every chance we could and carried on how could you terminate a baby that is beating well on the scan and although she had no fluid she was still growing right and moving everything she was meant to be doing !! But target was to get to 32 weeks :( but wouldnt of made a difference on the outcome as her lungs still wouldnt of got any bigger .She was born and surprised all the doctors at how well she did when first born ( natural labour ) very quick my husband couldnt get there in time :( she did great at first but then when they moved her to special care it all changed and they said she was such a fighter its just they cldnt help her as lungs just not ready and her co 2 gases went sky high and oxygen levels dropping rapidly low,, she was here for 9 hours and we didnt get to see her for 6 them which weve since been told by her doctor only a few weeks ago that she would never have stopped us seeing her and didnt know that we had the midwifes calling the ward every 30 minutes so some1 made a huge mistake and for that we should of been with our little girl but was told each time we couldnt go up there etc etc and we cannot ever get them prescious hours back .
I am married been with hubbie for 11 years married 6. Have 2 beautiful children boy 8 nearly 9 and girl who is 4 . Can try again as chances are next time round i will have a normal pregnancy and not likely this would happen again , am i going to have another try ?? who know's i think i may like to when i lost caitlyne i said no without a thought but now i dont know i think maybe next year , year after maybe we can try again, hubbie deff would like to try again . I think i will always be longing for a baby and if i do have another baby it would never replace my sleeping angel nothing ever could . Only time will tell on that one i guess .
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Hi My name is Sarah and i'm 36. My baby boy Charlie was born at 34+1 wks,on 13th january 2010 he weighed 4lb 12.
Unfortunately he only lived for 35 hours sadly leaving us at 13.40 on 14th Jan.
We knew all throgh the pregnancy that our son had problems as at 14 wks we were told he had downs syndrome then at 24 wks they discovered fluid around his lungs, at 33+2 wks i had an amniotic drain (i had 1 litre removed as i was carrying way to much) and a shunt put in charlies chest which was meant to drain the fluid from around his lungs allowing them to grow. Unfortunately i went into labour before it had time to work and he was born by emergency c section.
Although we were scanned every wk from 24 wks and the hospital were never very hopeful, we still clung on to the fact that he was fighting in there.
He was on ventilator and had about 13 different drugs going into him, but they couldnt keep his oxygen levels up, they told us that there was no chance he would survive and it was a matter of time, we made the decision to turn off the machines and let him go in peace in our arms where he should be. I have a son who is 8 and my partner has 2 girls 16 and 13, we are talking about trying again but nothing will ever replace our beautiful boy who we laid to rest on 26th Jan in our local church.
Sorting out my sons funeral and seeing his tiny coffin lowered into the ground was the worst thing i have ever had to do in my life and something i will never forget. It is hard sometimes as no one around me has gone through this so it sometimes feels very lonely If anyone wants to get in touch then please do so. Love to all the parents of angels xxx Please click here to send us your message to forward on to Charlie's Mummy by typing, or copy & pasting "Charlie's Mummy PP31" in the subject line x.
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