If so, get yourself a nice cup of tea and have a read through the following information that you may find helpful. We have been asked a number of times to supply other hospitals with these boxes. We would love to be able to do this, but unfortunately, due to time constraints, it is just not possible. We would however like to offer help and advice to those who would like to do something similar in memory of their baby and so have written the following information that may be helpful. We are more than happy to pass on details of all our suppliers etc (detailed at the bottom of this page) to help if you'd like to make up boxes yourself for your hospital in your own area and offer a more personal touch for bereaved parents. Alternatively you can buy already made up boxes from sands to donate as detailed on the front page. I believe these are around £12 each, but you can contact Sue to find out exactly. If you thinking about starting a project, here's a few pointers that may help: - Find out if you have a local SANDS group, or if there is another organisation already in talks with your hospital, as there may already be a similar project in your area which you can become involved in.
- If there is no SANDS group or other project in your area, find out who you need to speak to at your local hospital. This is really important in making sure that the boxes actually reach bereaved parents and don't end up sat in a cupboard because midwives may not even aware they are available. This is not always easy and it may be that not all hospitals will be open to receiving these boxes. Don't be put off and keep trying. Remember that hospitals will be eager to protect patients and so will probably have some questions and concerns. At the same time though, many hospitals will be very open & grateful for them once you've found the right person to speak with.
- You will need to set up a meeting with the relevant person / people at your local hospital to discuss the aim of your boxes, to find out what services they already offer, how many they are likely to need and to make sure the contents of your boxes are ok with them. They may not want all of the items, as they may already offer them, or they may ask for different things.
- Now you have found the right person, sending in a sample box with a covering letter before your meeting is great idea, as the hospital will have had chance to discuss your boxes with the midwives and consider any questions / concerns they might have.
- Think how you will fund your project. How will you fundraise to supply your local hospital? Some hospitals may even have their own fund for projects like these and will be able to pay for the boxes themselves. It's always a good idea to ask. If not you may decide to hold fundraising events or publicise your project somehow to raise money, for example by setting up your own website or just giving page. Don't forget to send your project details over to us once you've set up and we will add a link here to your project. You will get the best price for items by buying in bulk, so you will need a fair amount to start off with.
- Think how you will decorate your box. We emboss little baby feet onto a heart and add on a poem that I have written myself. You may want to do something similar, or completely different. If you feel that you are not really that crafty at all, please don't worry!!! Just a plain box with contents will still mean the absolute world to bereaved parents.
We have worked really hard and spent many hours researching where to get the best items from for the best price. Please let us know if you have found better and we will put the link here. If we can all share our findings, we will all be able to offer the best possible service to others going through this devastating time. Here's where we get our supplies from to make the hospital boxes: - Boxes – Fold-a-box – These are an amazing price and are lovely too. Because they do come in different baby colours, if you do not feel you can decorate them, a plain box is lovely anyway. Do make sure that you take each one out and check them over once they come, as they are sometimes damaged in some way when they arrive. They are very good at sending out new ones if this is the case though, but hopefully this will improve over time, as they are just perfect and a wonderful price for projects such as these.
http://www.foldabox.co.uk/ishop/1083/shopscr85.html - Teddys – Preemies uk kindly knit our teddies for us. Below is a link for the pattern used. You may find a local knitting group or know someone who can supply you with these teddies. Have an ask around at your local wool shop to see if they can help with ideas.
http://www.alexandrasangelgifts.co.uk/catalog/How_you_can_help-51-1.html - Lavender oil – You can buy this on ebay for a really good price. We buy lots of little dropper bottles and then a big bottle of lavender oil, as this is the cheapest way of getting high quality essential oil. Make sure that it is pure lavender oil that you buy, which will be the most effective for parents, which means not necessarily going for the cheapest. We regularly do a search on ebay to find the best possible prices. Here's the last batch we bought:
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=390101792456&ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT
And the little bottles: http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=390092210249&ssPageName=STRK:MEWNX:IT - Camera – again, buying in bulk for disposable cameras is the best way. This is where we found the cheapest & we just bought a load of ivory ones which are lovely. We have since found out that our hospital has a digital camera and so we are now looking into memory cards instead to go inside the boxes, as a digital camera will always take the best photo's. These are good questions to ask when you have a meeting with your hospital.
http://www.disposablecamerashop.co.uk/product_details.asp?PID=1514 - Little box and envelopes – again Ebay!! Shop around and you'll get really good prices, particularly by buying in bulk.
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=330295594634&ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT
Also these little re-sealable see through bags are really important in keeping locks of hair etc safe and fresh, as if put just into an envelope it will soon deteriorate or be lost with handling: http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/100-Re-sealable-Plastic-Bags-2-25-x-3-in-4-FOR-3-OFFER_W0QQitemZ130265602390QQcmdZViewItemQQptZUK_Packaging_Materials?hash=item1e546f5956 - Candles – We have just started to include a little candle in with our boxes with a little poem on that reads:
Let this light shine way above and wrap you tight in all our love This poem is copyright owned by us, however we are more than happy for this to be used for candles to be donated inside your boxes for hospitals (but not for any other purpose). Please contact us for more information & to request to use our poem.
- Letters to go inside – This is very important to consider carefully, as you do not want to bombard parents with lots of information that they just will not be able to take in, but you do want to make very gentle suggestions to help them, so that they do not go on to suffer the feeling of regret that many of us have. This is what we put in our letters, which you are very welcome to use:
Words can not express how sorry we are that you find yourself reading this. We know you have a lot of heartbreaking decisions to come to at the moment, that no parent should ever have to make. This keepsake box is a gift to you and has been put together with input from others who have been in a similar situation. You may or may not want the items within your box, they are simply there should you think they might be helpful. There is no right or wrong and we are all different. You will find in your box: 2 teddys. One to go to rest with your baby and one for you to keep close. A small box and small envelopes to keep hospital tags, locks of hair. A disposable camera to take pictures with, if you want to. If you do have a camera with you and want to take pictures, you may find the note in with the camera helpful. A candle to light for your baby. You will also find a small bottle of lavender oil. For mum, a few drops of lavender essential oil in a bath is very healing and gently encourages the growth of new skin at the same time as protecting any raw areas from infection. For mum & dad, a couple of drops on a pillow at bedtime can also help with sleep. Again, there are no words that will ever express how sorry we are for your loss xxx
And to go with the camera: After speaking with many bereaved parents, a common regret is not taking enough pictures of their baby. It's difficult to imagine how you will feel later on, as we know the deep shock and pain you are dealing with right now. If you don't feel able yourself, perhaps you could ask your midwife to take some for you. If you are using the disposable camera provided, when you're ready you can ask someone you trust to take this camera to be processed and ask for your pictures to be put on either a CD Rom or a memory stick. You can then keep your CD or Memory stick in your box until you feel ready to see your pictures. That may be sometime soon, it may be years down the line, or it may even be never. We are all different and there is no right or wrong. As well as general ones, some pictures other parents deeply wish they had taken are: Both mum & dad holding our babies separately & also all together Holding our babies hand. Our baby's feet and hands Our baby undressed, as well as dressed
We hope this information helps you and would be very grateful if you too can keep us updated with any new things that you have thought of or of any new places to get the best quality items for the best price. Don't forget to e-mail us any links to your own projects and pages so that we can list them on our pages x
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